Being a mom is considered one of the best jobs in the world and although this is true no job comes without its own set of difficulties and struggles. As a mother you are balancing so many different roles and constantly carrying the weight of fatigue, burnout, and pleasing everyone.
Sometimes it is just nice to be recognized. And not like a Mother’s Day card or a bouquet of flowers. But for someone to pull back the curtain see all the hard-work you are doing day in and day out and really make you feel appreciated.
If you have been following me here on Budding Mama, you know I do not currently have any children. [We are still following the steps of trying to conceive if you want to read more about that you can click here].
However, as the content creator for a site that is dedicated to homeschoolers, I talk to so many moms and I’ve noticed one thing. A mother’s love and hard work can oftentimes be overlooked.
This can frequently lead to mommy burnout.
Burnout based on the definition from helpguide.org is “a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands”.
You can often feel alone, undervalued, and depressed. BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are NOT the only mom feeling this way.
To tackle this all too common misconception of feeling alone and questioning if you are doing enough I interviewed 6 moms from different backgrounds to show you that you aren’t the only one dealing with these emotions.
Because motherhood is not the perfect Instagram picture you see online or the Christmas cards you receive each year. Motherhood is these honest, transparent conversations I had with these mothers.
The Interviews:
Today I am sharing the feelings of 3 homeschooling moms.
Homeschooling moms stand out because they are responsible not only for their child’s wellbeing but for their child’s education as well. The role of the teacher is a full-time task as they have to plan out the curriculum, teach the lessons, monitor progress, then repeat.
There are three more interviews with moms who have their children in public school. They have also chosen to share their honest feelings in part two of the “Mommy Burnout Series” here.
Honestly, the answers are eye-opening and you won’t want to miss them.
The Interviewees:
Ashley-2 children (8 and 4)
Danielle-4 children (8, 6, 3,1, and expecting)
Joann-4 children (12, 10, 7, and 2)
The Questions:
What do you love most about being a mom?
Ashley– I honestly enjoy seeing their growth. I love seeing their joys and their pains. Their struggles and each moment of happiness. Navigating the unknown and becoming a better person along the way as well.
Danielle-It feels like the clearest way to spend life. I’ve never felt more “found” than I do as a mother. I love being THE ONE they want to tell everything to, the one who knows them best. It’s such a privilege!
Joann– What I love about being a mom is watching my kids grow. They amaze me every day and it’s such a delight watching their individual personalities shine. Being able to be with them and not miss a moment was one of my main reasons for homeschooling.
What do you think is the hardest thing about being a mom (for you) that people don’t realize?
Ashley-Just because we are parents doesn’t mean that we aren’t human. The added anxiety of being a parent is hard for me. I have dealt with anxiety all my life and panic attacks. It’s been a work in progress and I deal with it daily to adjust my emotions and not project them on my children.
Danielle– There is no replacement for a mother. You are the only one who can keep all of the things on your radar, know how everyone likes their sandwiches, etc- your cylinders are always firing!
Joann– I think juggling all the responsibilities that come with being a mom is the hardest aspect for me. Making sure each of those roles are done well and efficiently can at times be overwhelming and exhausting.
What do you feel are your hardest things to balance as a mom/partner/ friend/individual?
Ashley-Life! Haha! So many things always happening and honestly not enough time to make sure each one feels loved and important. Then add running a new business and trying to balance social media it can seem impossible. I’m learning that it’s okay to not be 100% in every aspect of your life. At the end of the day I know I am doing my best and tomorrow I will try to keep doing better.
Danielle-It’s hard for me to give up control. I like things done efficiently and the way I like them done… and that equates to a heavy load!
Joann– The hardest thing for me to balance is time. There are many days where there are many things to accomplish and there doesn’t ever seem to be enough time.
What do you do to really take time out for yourself (not including kids, partner,or friends)?
Ashley-I love to garden and read. Those two things bring me inner peace and allow me a space to think.
Danielle-I stay up late and read, work, and soak in the silence!
Joann– I really enjoy dance fitness. I do my best to fit that in most days.
How often do you feel emotionally overwhelmed/mentally drained?
Ashley-A few times a month
Danielle– Once a month
Joann– A few times a month
How do you normally deal with it?
Ashley– I take a break from everything and focus on my children and my home. Anything that doesn’t need immediate attention will be paused. Our mental health as parents is always a priority.
Danielle– Talk to a friend or take a day off.
Joann-I like to talk through my feelings. It helps me process and get my thoughts in check. A listening ear and a few hours later I’m good.
Do you share these feelings with anyone?
Ashley– Yes, my partner.
Danielle– Yes, my partner, family, and my friends.
Joann– Yes, my partner, family, and my friends.
Do you feel you are truly able to give your children the amount of time they need from you?
Ashley-Yes
Danielle– Yes
Joann-Sometimes
Do you feel you are truly able to give your partner the amount of time they need from you?
Ashley– Sometimes
Danielle– Yes
Joann-Sometimes
Do you feel you are truly able to give yourself time to step back, relax, and be you?
Ashley– Yes
Danielle– Sometimes
Joann– Sometimes
What do you wish your family/friends/ partner knew about how you feel?
Ashley– I would want to tell my family, yes I am a good parent but not always. I sometimes say the wrong thing or react the wrong way or just honestly am not the best version of myself that day. I think it’s important to realize as parents we will not always be right and be humble enough to admit that to our children and to our family and apologize when needed. There is no perfect parent. We are all trying and doing the best that we can.
Danielle– I wish they could spend a week carrying the mental load and keeping up with everything. It’s a lot!
Joann-I’m a bit of an open book and discuss how I feel. Making sure I have that time to process and talk it through helps keep my mood in check.
What is some advice you would give other moms (even if you don’t follow it yourself)?
Ashley– Be selfish, and make time for you. Our children are watching. They learn from us. Their passions and joy of life stem from you.
Danielle– Lower your expectations! And don’t compare yourself to anyone!
Joann-Be kind to yourself. We are all doing the best we can and there is no set standard for how to parent. Give yourself the compassion for the days that don’t go well. As long as we have happy, healthy kids whatever you are doing is awesome.
Do you feel you give yourself enough credit for the things you are able to accomplish?
Ashley– Yes
Danielle– Yes
Joann-Sometimes
Do you feel you are enough?
Ashley– Yes
Danielle– Yes
Joann-Yes
Is there anything else you would like to share with me that has not already been asked?
Ashley– Don’t lose sight on what really matters. We are enough for ourselves and for our family. Don’t be afraid to vulnerable and ask for help. We are more alike than we know.
Danielle– I think the world loves to make motherhood feel complicated and difficult, and it doesn’t have to be that way. Kids need love and security, and when you’re the mom, you naturally want to give them that. Exhausting? Absolutely. Life-giving? Entirely. 🤍
Joann– No everything was covered quite lovely.
You Can Do This.
See I told you that you aren’t alone. This is something all moms have to cope with and work through. You must realize you are enough. You make the best decisions for your family.
When you are in need of some inspiration these positive affirmations for moms will leave you feeling encouraged, motivated, and ready to tackle the day.
Don’t forget if you haven’t already checked out part two of the interview series that can be found here.
Updated 01/2022
Last Updated on January 23, 2022 by Kierra