If you’ve read part 1 of this series then you already know we are talking with some wonderful moms about how they deal with the ebbs and flows of burnout.
If you haven’t read part one then let’s start with no two days are alike and each day has its own challenges. Although, this is true for everyone–a mother not only has to balance the ever-changing waves for herself, but also for her children and even her partner to an extent.
Your desire to take on all challenges head-on usually leads to feelings of exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed is better known as “burnout”.
These 6 moms are allowing me to delve into their hearts and minds by laying all their cards on the table with some very open and honest questions.
If you missed part 1 of the series then you missed the incredible truth from 3 amazing homeschool mamas, so go ahead take a moment and go check that out here.
The Interviews:
Today is the latter half of the moms. These moms either do virtual teaching through a school or use public education.
These moms work outside of the home. So while they are not faced with spearheading their children’s education 100% they must balance giving 40 hours or more to a job, helping with school work, having time as mom, and then having anything leftover for their partner or themselves.
The Interviewees:
Heather-1 child (6); 31
Latessha-1 child (7); 29
Leigh– 2 children (3,1); 32
The Questions:
What do you love most about being a mom?
Heather– I love everything about being a mom. I was made to be a mama. It is the greatest joy I have ever known to watch my child grow into a kind, smart, independent, funny, amazing, beautiful little person.
Latessha– Having someone that loves me unconditionally – even when I’m a little strict or when I’m not so pretty. I know that no matter what we have an unbreakable bond and love.
Leigh-Watching my daughter grow and change, both physically and mentally.
What do you think is the hardest thing about being a mom (for you) that people don’t realize?
Heather– The hardest thing for me has been parenting a child with a severe speech delay. My sweet boy has come a long way and is thriving, but this hasn’t always been the case and he was in speech therapy for over two years. It’s a different level of parenting that a lot of parents don’t have to worry about or experience. The entire system for children with any type of disability is extremely flawed. We are very fortunate that his learning disability is one that has been managed and overcome with the help of speech therapy.
Latessha– My methods of discipline sometimes (or lack thereof). I grew up in a household where physical punishment was the first step to correct behavior. I prefer that my child love and respect me, not fear me. I know that in my community, that can be frowned on at times.
Leigh– Time management!
What do you feel are your hardest things to balance as a mom/partner/ friend/individual?
Heather-I have a lot on my plate. I balance being a single mom, working 2 jobs, and supporting 3 people. The hardest to balance is time with my son. Now that he is in school full time, I lost even more time with him. Balancing and making the most of the time spent with him is the hardest and most important for me.
Latessha– Time. I am pulled in many different directions often and because I don’t like to disappoint others. I sometimes do myself a disservice by taking on too much. Sometimes I don’t feel understood because even though people can see my life from the outside, to be in the midst of the madness trying to divide time between work, my partner, my child, my friends/family, and a growing side hustle is A LOT.
Leigh– Trying to find a happy medium between work and home life. Sometimes coming home and remembering the house doesn’t have to be cleaned and taking some time to just sit down and play with my daughters or talk to my partner.
What do you do to really take time out for yourself (not including kids, partner, or friends)?
Heather-My time to myself is my work at the zoo. It is my passion in life. I’ve been really trying to make myself a priority because I know I put myself and my needs on the back burner. I’m very social and I really need time with friends to feel happy and content.
Latessha– I try to get my hair done every once in a while, treat myself to a mani/pedi, or even a massage. But I still struggle to do any of that.
Leigh– Workout
How often do you feel emotionally overwhelmed/mentally drained?
Heather-A few times a month
Latessha– A few times a week
Leigh– Once a month
How do you normally deal with it?
Heather– I just stop and breathe and think about all of the amazing people I have surrounded myself with. When I am stressed, I just need to spend time with my son, my friends, or at the zoo. I step back and realize that I have built so much and should be proud. Also, retail therapy works wonders.
Latessha– Taking deep breaths, hugs and kisses from my little one, watching a quick DIY or couponing video on YouTube, or online shopping.
Leigh– Take a few hours just to myself. I usually just take a nap or watch my shows on tv, but just having a few hours of not being “needed” by anyone/anything is nice! In the past, I actually took a day off work during the week just to be home alone.
Do you share these feelings with anyone?
Heather– No
Latessha– Yes, my partner and my friends
Leigh– Yes, my partner
Do you feel you are truly able to give your children the amount of time they need from you?
Heather-Yes
Latessha– No
Leigh– Yes
Do you feel you are truly able to give your partner the amount of time they need from you?
Heather– Sometimes
Latessha– Sometimes
Leigh– Sometimes
Do you feel you are truly able to give yourself time to step back, relax, and be you?
Heather– Sometimes
Latessha– No
Leigh– Sometimes
Do you feel you are burned out currently?
Heather– No
Latessha– Yes
Leigh– No
What do you wish your family/friends/ partner knew about how you feel?
Heather– I just hope they see how hard I am working. I hope they look at me and see the strong, independent, amazing woman I am. I hope they speak highly of me and don’t view anything about my life as a failure.
Latessha-Sometimes my jokes are a cry for help, but I don’t know exactly what help I need. I just know this isn’t sustainable long term. I love the different elements of my life but I often feel run over by the world. I do feel like I have undiagnosed anxiety but I’m strong so I do my best to keep a handle on it. I just keep hoping that something is going to shake and bring me some sense of relief. I am fighting to make it. I HAVE to make it.
Leigh– I’m super fortunate to have a great support system, they get that sometimes I need a mommy break. They are always there for me to help out in any way. So really there isn’t much I wish they knew.
What is some advice you would give other moms (even if you don’t follow it yourself)?
Heather– Be present. Put the phone down. Take all the pictures (and be in them too, even if you hate the way you look). Do all the activities. Make all the memories. Do what is best for you and your family. Trust your gut and know you are making the best decision for you and your children. Don’t stop being yourself. Make time for you and what you love. You were somebody before you had kids and that person still matters and needs love too.
Latessha– Pace yourself. You don’t have to take on the world all at once. Sometimes things aren’t going to get done and that’s okay. Also, make sure you celebrate the small wins.
Leigh– Don’t think there is one right way to be a mom, you have to do what is best for you and your family! Both my partner and I are coaches so some nights we don’t get home before 9:30 which means having a routine is not really an option for us.
Do you feel you give yourself enough credit for the things you are able to accomplish?
Heather– No
Latessha-Sometimes
Leigh– Sometimes
Do you feel you are enough?
Heather– Yes
Latessha-Yes
Leigh– Yes
Is there anything else you would like to share with me that has not already been asked?
Heather– I love you. (Kierra’s response- Thank you. I love you too).
Latessha– I do feel like I’m enough in certain areas of my life but I am always hoping and wanting to be a better mom. I know that he deserves the world and all of the time and attention he needs. I want to be able to give more of it to him before it’s too late.
Leigh– No
You Can Do This.
See I told you that you aren’t alone. This is something all moms have to cope with and work through. You just have to remember you are enough. You make the best decisions for your family.
When you are in need of some inspiration these positive affirmations for moms will leave you feeling encouraged, motivated, and ready to tackle the day grab the freebie below.
Updated 01/2022
Last Updated on January 18, 2022 by Kierra